Wednesday, March 17, 2010

And while we're on the subject of dating

alluringlady-4 Pictures, Images and PhotosIt took me almost a year after my ex-pectorant left me to realize it was time to get back in the game.  At the same time that I was scared as hell to start dating again, I was anxious to see what the world of singledom was like....26 years later. It took me about 5 minutes to realize it is not a simple thing to meet nice, interesting, intelligent men. Do they even exist and where the hell do you find them?

So, I decided to take the bull by the horns so to speak....bite the bullet, take the plunge... and I signed up for It was amazingly simple to begin...I had a friend take some photos, I whipped up a profile complete with my expectations and aspirations, entered my zip code and waited for the fun to begin.

I need to first explain that I lived in a town in Wisconsin of about 70,000 people and this is the "big city" in that neck of the woods.. The nearest real big city is Minneapolis which is about 100 miles away. 

What I found over the next few days was enough to make me consider taking the vows and I don't mean the marriage sort. Okay, I contemplated this for only a minute or so, but... 

Many of the men I found within my parameters were men I actually knew. I'm telling you right now, I am not going to date the ex-husband of an old friend, the ex-boyfriend of my boss, or a client of my ex-pectorant.  This was a small enough town that I already knew their stories...and they didn't jibe with what I was reading on their profiles.

The rest of the choices were marginal at best. The other day I was perusing an old email address that I used exclusively for my communication with the "possibles". I had completely forgotten that it existed. I found this profile that I had saved and laughed alone as I re-read it. It is simply too amazing not to share and I kid you not, this is for real and I haven't changed a word!

hi iam country boy but kid at heart. iam a farmer with alot of extra likeings such as feastivals, hunt, fish, tractor pull, travel, and like meeting new people. wisconsin is my home and love the true four seasons smmer the best

for fun:
i enjoy alot of differt activities depending on the ocasion everything from playing under the covers on cold or rainy days to going on road trips or vactions. i dont mind shoping as long as it aint every day. i like going fishing or to the beach.
my job:
do constrution, cash crop, dairy farm, and custom work. i started when i was 14 ,hope to slow down sone and simi retire next 3-5 years
my religion:
iam a luthern massuri syned, but wold consider others, dont go to church every sunday. i try yo when i can.
favorite hot spots:
travel upnorth to hide aways and senic places or out west. wild and crazy is great when the time and place is right iam always laughing and jokeing around. i always wantedto take a long trip around the states to explore new destnations for next trips
favorite things:
my faverite foods are pizza, prime rib, lobster and are homemade faverite color is black for trucks, blue for others, love rock music (80-90s)
last read:
last thing is the local paper.

I laugh now but at the time it was just depressing!  "black for trucks, blue for others". My first thought was , I wonder if this guy prefers his women black and blue? I immediately expanded my zip code to 150 miles! 

I think this story will continue....I've got lots of material!



  1. Delana--I think I know this guy! He is from Mondovi & dated my sister--or else it is his twin! This is an absolute riot!

  2. No way, I'm originally from Mondovi and this guy has a very "extensive vocabulary" to also think he's from there :)

  3. Gosh, how depressing is that - Delana, please tell me entries like that are few and far between.

    I have a cousin who dabbles with these dating sites. She said it is easier to find someone who is good in bed than it is to have a decent conversation (sorry if that sounded a bit crude).

    I met my man on the internet but it was by chance - I had got lost on the way to trying to find a bichon frise chat room. It was years ago, before people had got so that the internet was part of everyday life. I ended up in a chat room for computer experts and I asked for help - it was him that came to my rescue. Twelve years later we are still together.

  4. I guess he ignored the spell check? OMG... this is just frightening! Actually, some of those words are so off that the spell check wouldn't have been able to even guess!! For those of you NOT from Wisconsin, as you can see by Delana's writing we are intelligent people! ...well, most of us! YIKES...

  5. Now girls....I officially declare today "Be Kind to Mondovians" It's possible he was from Hixton you know...or Augusta. In fact, I think he was really from his very own planet!

    FF: No, I think this was the worst one. In fact, I met many wonderful people this way...several who still remain friends.And I love your internet story...I love happy endings...or continuations I should say

    And is a little frightening. I think he needs to take an "English as a Second Language" course.

  6. Makes me darn proud to be a cheesehead!

  7. But sometimes on the way to a dream you find a better one. And end up being best friends.


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