Friday, October 1, 2010

Merde Revisited

The most wonderful little thing happened yesterday. I just have to share it. But I'll have to back up a little first, to a remnant of a not-so-wonderful and not-so-little thing. I'll try to be brief so I can get to the good part. Bear with me.

It's been 4 years and 2 months since my ex-pectorant moved out in order to "figure out what was going on in his head". It's been 4 years and 1 month since I figured out he wasn't coming back. It's been a few weeks less than that that since I found out he had been sleeping with his saxophone player (and a friend of mine) for at least 6 months. It's been one week less than that is since I filed for divorce. It's been 4 years since I found most of the bank accounts, the retirement funds, the kids' college funds and my inheritance were gone.

Needless to say. In the months following, I was a train wreck. Really. 

I was despondent. At the same time that I had a legion of great people surrounding me and helping me along, I felt so alone. I truly thought that I might never feel like myself again. But as with all things...time healed. Not only that, I found out that, in fact, I hadn't been myself for 25 years. And the real me came back...with a vengeance. And I had forgotten how much I liked her!

So enough of that story. I just needed to set the stage.  On to the cool thing.

Yesterday, as I was studying my imperfect French verb conjugations,  a reminder popped up on my Blackberry (a workhorse telephone that I've had for at least 3 1/2 years). You know, the kind of message that you put in to remind yourself of a birthday or an appointment.  The message said,

"Meet with Jennie for a laughing session about life's shit four 4 years before"

Apparently, my darling little sister had put this message in my phone  3 years ago, probably right after the divorce, and dated it for yesterday. Because she KNEW I'd be okay. And she KNEW that I was already returning to my former, former self. And because she's my darling little sister.

I began to laugh. I mean REALLY laugh. And I called her right away. And we laughed together. About life's shit 4 years before. About how much better than just "okay" I am now. And what good fertilizer shit really is.



  1. I love it Delana!
    What a great gift to have such a surprise...a time capsule you can enjoy yourself.
    Bravo little sister.
    Bon weekend,

  2. Bonjour Delana.
    I love to read your story. It's so inspiring, you don't what that means.(smile) I will laugh with you and cry with you even though I am here far a way land. Life is beautiful. How is your new place going? Any show and tell? (smile)

    Julie xx

  3. What a super sister...for the first time I wish I had not been an only child...

    Boy but haven't you just come up smiling and I bet the other party hasn't done as well as you.

  4. I'm glad you can laugh now and that you have made such a wonderful exciting life for yourself! I hope someday he gets a conscience and gives back what he owes you including an amends.
    I guess I should thank you for sparing me the bigger agony that I might have experienced had he not dumped me when he did.
    Your ex spouse sister.

  5. Aidan-it was such a cool idea, wasn't it? I want to do that for somebody else someday. I hope, under better circumstances. Yes, it's like a time capsule. Very cool.

    Julie-thank you, my dear. I really contemplated even writing this because it seemed so negative. And it wasn't meant to be. I hope that came through. I did publish photos of my apartment in this article: and you can check it out there. It's furnished so I don't get to do anything with it which is so frustrating. It's got such great bones!

    Fly-when I was little, she was just an annoying little tomboy who got in my way. Now, I can't tell you how fortunate I feel. But our sisters come from everywhere, don't they?

    Jackye-folks, this is an example of the funny things that happen when you start blogging. You become friends with the first ex-wife of your ex-husband! Jackye, I used to thank you because I thought he came "pre-trained". We now know, he's most likely untrainable! And we are both so much better off, don't you think?

  6. Your sister rocks!
    Congrats on being a strong woman and living life to the fullest in France!
    Cheers to you Delana :-)

  7. I'm laughing my head off with tears in my eyes. Thanks so much for sharing and for the fabulous exchange in the Comments.

  8. Sara-Louise is right: your sister ROCKS!!!

    Yes, finding your true self and living your life is key, isn't it? I love this post. Thank you for sharing it with us.


  9. I'm gonna lift a glass of the bubbly to your schmuck ex-pectorant! Thanks to him, because he brought you to me! (And in fact, I too have an ex to thank for leading me to Provence - so, hell, I've lift two glasses of the bubbly. Vive la vie en France!)

  10. Sara Louise-thank you. And back at you! Are you over the flu yet?

    Lee-welcome to our little blog here in the south of France. You're right, it's the exchange that is so much fun. Join in anytime and often, okay?

    Tanya-just wed and still has time to blog and comment!
    Honey, il faut que tu prendre un siest!

    Holly-I haven't come to the point of actually toasting him yet. Perhaps we should do that together when you come out of the sticks and back into civilization.


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