Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Pants

I leave for Switzerland tomorrow for my yearly brush with death. As I was watching television report about the avalanche that annihilated a ski station in the alps last weekend, did I worry about the possibility of this happening in at my final destination? Did I think that perhaps I should be going a little earlier in the season so as to avoid all that heavy, spring snow?

Absolutely not.  All I kept thinking was, "oh my god, I wonder if my ski pants will fit?". Yep, not worried about dyin'...just worried about looking good when I do!

Every year I go to visit my friend Swiss friend, Vreni, at her house in the breathtaking, eastern Swiss Alp ski station, Arosa. We laugh, talk in a bizarre mixture of 2 languages, eat, drink, and kick a little ass on the slopes. Okay, she kicks, I nudge. And each year, I have to borrow or rent all my gear. Not just boots and skis but clothing as well.  I've gotten by, but I feel a little bad each year as I don her son's pants, her husbands socks and her gloves and goggles.  I've now collected my very own jacket, long underwear and socks so I'm getting there. But last year, I happened to be there at the end of the season season was going on, and I bought a pair of ski pants.

Now I must tell you the price for these pants. I have to tell you because it's shameful. Shameful that a stupid pair of pants should cost as much as my car! They were 589 Swiss francs. Which translates to $645. Did you throw up a little in your mouth? Of course,  I didn't pay that. I got them for 75% off. But, this is still double what I would normally things better fit! And if they don't, I'm not going! The Pants have been sitting in the corner for two weeks, labels still attached,  staring at me with their accusing, expensive, slim fitting eyes. And I've been afraid to try them on. Yes, I'm afraid of a pair of pants. Not an avalanche....A PAIR OF PANTS!

Tuesday I took the plunge with 3 days left to cancel my trip if The Pants and I didn't agree with each other. For 2 weeks we had danced around each other, looking each other up and down. And finally, it was I that backed down and with a prodigious, pessimistic sigh, I stepped out of my skirt for the battle.

Zip, clip, score! SCORE!

So just as the almond trees blossoms are busting out in all their springtime glory, I'm off to avalanche country. Me and my very best friend...The Pants.




  1. Hope you have a great time swaggering about in the snazzy pants. I'm sure the avalanches will keep away in pure admiration!

    Love the video, I think we've all been there (perhaps not quite so initially glamorously...).

  2. Love the vid, she's obviously had four children too. Glad to hear the pants fit...I'm sure the first thing the rescue crew will say when they pull you out from under that avalanche is 'my what sweet fitting trousers'. Enjoy the slopes and stay safe! x x

  3. Yippee! They fit. Have a great adventure. There's a commercial playing here in the States for Progresso Soup where a woman calls progresso and says "It fits" about a dress and the woman who answers is so excited. Then another woman calls Progresso and says "They fit" talking about her blue jeans. But a man answers and he says, "okay." And she says, "Can I talk to a woman." Only women understand that anxiety and effort connected to fitting into the pants, the skirt, etc.

  4. Have a wonderful time. And be careful!
    I know I've lived away from home too long when I thought you were talking about underwear in this 'pants' post. Gah!
    Aidan xo

  5. Oh... That's good..very good and we can ALL relate!
    So, maybe that flu you had really paid off!
    Look forward to news from the slopes........

  6. Ah yes, a girl and her pants. I just hosted a designer jeans party at my house (new home party thing in the States) and I starved myself for 3 days so that I could actually get into the free jeans I earned! That reminds me, I better go workout cuz I want to wear those beauties this weekend! Enjoy your trip and wear those pants every day!

  7. Love the video. The first time I saw it I think I spat coffee on my computer. Thankfully it was the computer at work!

    I get the pants thing. Geez, just to find a pair of pants that fit. I've found jeans that I love. Now, if I could find shoes. I wear a size 10 or 10.5 so you can imagine the challenge.

    Enjoy the trip and be safe!!!

  8. Have a great time, I so get the fear of the pants thing!

  9. Sarah-They damned well better. This was pure trauma!

    Kirsty-I've seen those rescue crews. Why do you think I've been so worried about the pants?

    Paulita-That is so funny! That's why I love commercials more than the television shows. When they're bad they're horrible. When they're's a score!

    Aidan-No worries. I'll have a great time. Why did you think undies. Cullottes? Slip? What?

    Libby-Nope, I fully RECOVERED from the flu. I think that's why they were initially so expensive. The must "give".

    Kim- I'm completely intrigued by this jeans party thing. I want to know more. I can't find a single pair of jeans in France that fit me.

    Tanya-Don't get me started on jeans. Well, I already got started. I'm sure there are women here with thighs and a little booty which is my problem. But I don't know where they buy their jeans. Somebody help. I wear a 10 shoes. I feel your pain.

    Jaqui-I'm so glad this seems to be a universal woman thing.I may be completely nuts but it's nice to know we're all nuts together.

  10. $645??!! I know you got them for 75% off of that but holey moley that is CRAZY!!!
    Have a wonderful time and try not to hurt yourself :)

  11. Another great, enjoyable post.
    I think that at our age we HAVE to own nicely fitting clothes. Take a swimsuit: it HAS to be flattering for our no more so perfect bodies.
    Unfortunately the older we get the more expensive nice fitting cloths become, thank God for sales!

  12. Too hilarous, Delana. As I know only too well everything is outrageously expensive in Switzerland especially when it comes to anything related to skiing. But everyone here who skis says that the snow is fabulous this year, so have fun in your fancy pants!

  13. Be safe and rock the slopes in a your perfect fit pants!

  14. Hi Just to let you know I've passed on a Blog Award for your lovely blog - pop over to my blog for the details. PS, have a fab holiday! Jules x

  15. I had to laugh about the ski pants. I have my skinny ski pants that I use as a gauge for how I am doing at weight maintenance. If they fit, I feel really good!

    We have had a low snow year in California and we only got 1 day in during our Christmas ski trip to Lake Tahoe. Our next ski trip in February was cancelled due to lack of snow. We usually ski during spring break)(just 2 weeks away), but that looks iffy to. Oh, how I envy you. Enjoy and kick ass (or nudge) for me.


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