Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Boogey Man

My apartment here in Aix is really adorable and absolutely perfect for me...aside from some of the noises that emanate from the other apartments. 

My 638 square feet of personal space is cute....the entrance to my space is not. Like so many other other old buildings here in the central town, the entrance is horrible. Ugly...dirty...unpainted...scary.  I still remember this phenomenon being one of my first impressions here in Aix. And an ugly entrance is not a good first impression!

I don't know who is supposed to take care of it . Often there is a sydicat who is paid collectively by the owners each month to clean, change lightbulbs, repair anything that's broken and the like. We must not have one. I mean, how many years should one have to look at this on the way up to one's apartment?

When the lightbulbs burn out and nobody replaces them,  entering or leaving is like falling into a deep, dark pit of....I don't know....snakes? I always warn my visitors that they must pass through hell before they can arrive in heaven.

I'm not afraid here. It's a secure building and a safe neighborhood. I've never been afraid....until a couple of nights ago. I descended the stairs, struggling with two large bags of garbage that I set just outside the doorway each night for pickup. I made my way through the section of dark hallway, arrived at the door, set down my bags, opened the heavy port......and stopped short. My stomach dropped to my toes.

Just outside the door, backed up against the wall and clearly hiding, stood a motionless man... obviously waiting for someone to exit. It was apparent that he wasn't very clever because I could see the tips of his shoes.

Still, a stupid criminal is a dangerous criminal!  I stood still, scared to death and quickly weighed my options. I finally decided to exit fast and swinging, so I picked up those heavy bags again, flew out the door ready to smash the SOB's face with old wine bottles and vegetable peelings. I turned to face my would be attacker, bags flailing... and stopped short. After the brief moment it took to collect myself...I burst out laughing...at myself.

Before me...my dangerous, would-be attacker....turned out to be...in fact....

a pair of shoes, set in the proper spot for garbage pick-up. And very neatly set, I might add.



  1. Hilarious. So glad to hear it was only shoes and not a boogey man!

  2. I burst out laughing. I'm so glad it was only a pair of shoes. I don't think I would have done anything except back up and lock myself in my apt and call the french police, ooooh lala .........Great story.

    The French Hutch

  3. Great story! I'm catching up on blogs I used to follow daily and glad to see you are still in France! I love it!

  4. Funny. Oh, the foibles of being a single woman in France. Thanks for sharing

  5. Too funny! I love how perfectly they're sitting there.

    It is quite stunning how the common area of the apartment isn't cared for. Very curious.

    On the opposite is your darling apartment. I love it!

  6. I was concerned that you had stopped to take a picture of his feet before you flew out the door! I thought perhaps you would blind him with the flash before whacking with the trash! Excellent.

  7. Hehe @ the shoes. Very neat indeed.
    And the space is cute, even if the hall isnt

  8. I hope they are in your size.... a girl can't have too many pairs of shoes ; )

  9. Didn't you think for a moment that he could be the Prince Charmant that you couldn't dance with le Quatorze Juillet?

  10. I would have been pissing myself!
    Thanks for the image of you wielding garbage bags to confront the criminal. Hysterical!

  11. This is priceless, Delana! I do wish that you would turn this blog into a screenplay...what a great movie you've got here! xoxo

  12. Bonjour Delana

    Your appartment looks lovely - nice and roomy and as you said - every thing you need.
    Pity about the stairway but I guess as soon as you open your door you're into your own pretty space.
    You made me laugh about your would be attacker!!

    Have a wonderful and safe week

  13. Maybe you could line the hallway with a bunch of bright posters.
    Love the shoe story.

  14. HA-HA!!! That's hilarious. This. Coming from the person who still takes a flying leap back into her bed when she get up in the middle of the night to pee!

  15. Des manies, des manies... Amusant!
    Mais nous en avons tous.


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