Tuesday, May 4, 2010

More Earth Shattering, Mind Blowing, World Changing Questions About France

1. Why are there so many male hairdressers and why do they all look like they just got out of bed? And often like they could really use a meal...or vitamins?

2. Why is there a word for husband but no real word for wife. Husband is "mari" but wife is "femme" which also means woman. I wouldn't like being called someone's woman.

3. Also, why is there no word for "date"? As in "I have a date with Maurice" or "I dated him for several months until he called me his woman"?

4. Do the French people understand how heavenly their mustard is? Even their bad mustard?

5. Why do French children always seem to have such adorable shoes?

6.  Why are French people so willing to stand in lines? If I had to wait in a grocery store line at home like the ones I stand in here, people would be expressing their discontent with gestures and loud sighs as the young-manager-of-the-store-who-can't-even-grow-a-beard-yet scurries around trying find a stockboy who can run a register and when he can't he will eventually open and work the register himself.

7. Why do French people say oui, oui, oui (3 plus) to say yes? I do the same in French but I rarely, if ever, respond to a question with yes, yes, yes.

8. Why is there a prevalence of woman over 40 with a really weird red hair color?

As usual, I await your responses! And more questions.



  1. Hi Delana

    I can only answer two of your questions....

    I think that the weird hair colouring is down to eating too much heavenly mustard and then having your hair done by male hairdressers who look like they just got out of bed.

    We like standing in line and queuing because it gives us time to chat (especially about that Madame You Know Who - and her new hair colouring! We love to gossip about that!)

    And my question for you is... Who is Maurice? And when is your date with him? And what does that mean about Gérald? Have I missed an episode somewhere?

    All the best


  2. Keith you have a way of just...putting it all together for me. It's all just so SIMPLE! As for Maurice...I'm unhappy to report that he's just my fish. It was the first name that came to mind! No you haven't missed an episode. I will still write more about Gerald (I think). But we're again in the throes of a misunderstanding about nude modeling. Which I've never done...which makes this misunderstanding so difficult understand...which is eventually going to lead to an article....if I ever am able to understand why we seem to keep having this misunderstanding...which makes me think it would just be easier to date Maurice.

  3. Keith is clever!

    Maybe Maurice would be easier to date! Certainly he would not want to discuss nudity!

  4. I've never seen one male hairdresser here. It must be a thing for trendy areas. As for that red hair colour - I've mentioned this often to my m-i-l. It is astonishing and I think the hairdressers bulk buy this colour and then tell their clientele that it is trendy in Paris. The same goes for that vert anis that one sees everywhere now.

    Here in Bretagne you don't get the oui x 3, you get 'bah weh' - their version of an emphasised yes.

    As for standing in lines - I'm British and that's what we do - and we do it better than the French :p


  5. I have a French question . . .

    Why does "French cuisine" always equate to so-little-on-my-plate? 3 peas and a carrot stick always leaves me WANTING to beg for more. But instead (maybe because I don't want to insult anyone) I just say, "oui, oui, merci" - and grab a burger on my way home.

  6. I did see more cute shoes when we were in Aix (and a few weird ones, too - like the ones with pointy, curled-up toes that looked like elf shoes) than I have ever seen anywhere. Your boots were really cute as a matter of fact. Too bad I'd already spent all my money at the Birkenstock factory outlet or I might have come home with a pair. Although I think after wearing Birke's for so long, I may never again get my feet into a style with any sort of pointy toes.

  7. Delana -

    There are very reasonable answers to your questions.

    1. Because they are gay.
    2. Because men made up the vocabulary words.
    3. As an American, you can use the word "datte". Who cares if it means a fruit (see (1) above).
    4. In French, "moutarde" is a derivation of the English word "retard". That should explain it.
    5. Because they have cute feet, duh.
    6. It has to do with WWII.
    7. Because men like red.

  8. Ahhhhh, give me some French mustard on that hot baguette, and they can dye MY hair red, or purple or .... oui,oui,oui... I can taste it now...

  9. I love this blog. Every observation about the French, excluding the hair dressers, is exactly the same of the Germans; the cute children's shoes,the read hair and the waiting in line forever and ever. But once you get to the check out you surely are pushed to bag your groceries with the speed of light and get the hell out of the way.

    For wife they say Frau,also meaning woman. But for the husband they are called Ehemann and for Mr. they are called Herr and for Man they are called, Mann. So what gives.

    The one thing that annoys me and at the same time cracks me up, in Germany, is what they call a housewife; Hausfrau, directly translated, house woman.

    Oh and for Yes, Ja ja. I love this and say it often, even when I'm speaking English.

    As for these definitions, like in Germany, I think they just have a different understanding of the titles and phrases or at least I hope they do. And as for the red hair, its because strength is associated with red and older women, feeling they have lost their youthful strength are stating to the world, "I am Strong" or maybe they just want to be seen.

    My absolute favorite direct translation is the translation of marinated tomatoes, getrunken tomaten. Directly translated; drunk tomatoes.
    Ja ja, Ich liebe getrunken tomaten. Yes yes, I love drunk tomatoes as they stagger around in my salad.

  10. Yes, those lines drive me cra....zy, especially La Poste!

    I rather like the "oui oui oui" ; it's like the double cheek kiss: so very French!

    P.S. Thanks for your very funny comment: I have responded on my blog...

  11. As French Fancy says, round here they say 'beh oui' as they collide round the supermarket gondolas...
    I have the definitivre answer to the hair question - or rather, my mother does.
    Lesbians, the lot of them.

  12. Joanna: I don't know...Maurice is a pretty smart fish. And he follows my every move!

    Julie: I think you're right...we do live in different countries! But the haircolor must be universally French! We get bah...oui too. I even caught myself saying it the other day. Yikes! And that line thing....it's everywhere and drives me CRAZY. Makes me realize all the really great things about the mid-west U.S.

    Shell: Is it really? No wonder my German friend doesn't seem to find my comments so funny!

    M: luckily here in the south, they're willing to fill your plate. Not the 48 oz. steak I saw in the U.S. when I was home, but they're generous, thank goodness. But the French restaurants in the states did the 3- green bean - with a drizzle of 2 colored sauces around the edge of the plate- Thank you...that will be $75 thing!

    Sherrie: Oh honey...I've got my Birkies here too!

    Steve: when you get here...tell me if men would REALLY like this color!

    Vickels: get your butt here and we'll dye your hair!

    Shell: No wonder my German friend doesn't find all of this so strange! As for the drunken tomatoes...you just gave me an idea for dinner tomorrow. The tomatoes at the market are finally local and they're tasting sooooo good. And I've got fresh basil on the terrace!

    Libbie: A...La Poste. I went in there the other day and there was no line...I could hardly contain myself. I trust you're making seat cushions as we speak!

    Fly: You're mother...What a kick!

  13. Yup - Fly in the Web (or rather, her mother) has got it right - all lesbians! I was just to shy to say that myself!

  14. MDR! Very weird though that they say 'oui, oui, oui' where you are. Obviously an oversexed ragion?
    Here in Lyon, its just 'oui', curt and sometimes you get a 'ben' in front.
    Thank you for making me laugh so hard!


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