I know nobody has slept a wink since
I promised an article on meat last week. Nothing better than good old, Monday morning meat read. And now, so that all the world can finally get a little rest, I will fulfill my promise....
During one of my investigative trips to the big
supermarkets here in southern France, and after I’d managed to extract myself
from the cheese aisle, I did an exploration of the meat aisle. I first hit the
cooler that bore a striking resemblance to the cooler in my old biology
lab. I mean, what are these things
before me that look so much like body parts and innards? After writing down the
names and doing a translation I discovered that they were….indeed... body parts and
pieces!
Here’s a sample of the sizeable selection of delicacies that
somebody
must be eating. We’ve got Tête
de Veau, Pieds de Veau, Langue de Veau, and Cervelle de Veau, which translate
to head of veal, feet of veal, tongue of veal, and brains of veal. Poor little
baby cows.
Then there’s Rognon de Boeuf (as in beef kidneys) and Rognon Cubes (it’s nice to know you
can buy these little waste processing factories pre-cut, don’t you think?) Then
we move on to Cours d’Agneau (heart of lamb) and Crépine de Porc (the casing of
pig intestines). Followed by Pieds
et Paquets Marseillais, a gross looking pile of flesh that translates to “feet
and packages”. But packages of what? I finally just found a definition today.
It’s little packages of chopped ham, garlic and herbs all wrapped in the pretty
paper of…. sheep’s stomach lining. And a particularly Provençal specialty. Oh
goody! AND to top it all off, you
can get the feet and packages in a value pack…enough for all your friends and
family.
I realize that people in all countries eat these unusual things. And probably more so in certain ethnic groups or in particular regions
of a country. When I was a bush cook in British Columbia, I prepared moose
heart, elk liver, caribou tongue, mountain sheep brains and goat testicles. But
we didn’t have anything else to eat! (I did. I had peanut butter. Which I lived
on and which is where my whole peanut butter sickness began) I have asked my French friends explain to me... who eats this stuff? Many don’t, of course. But last time I inquired about brains at a dinner party, a grand
argument began about the best way to prepare this delicious delicacy. I
pretended to write down the recipes...but I had absolutely no intention of
testing them in order to form my own opinion.
Okay, so on to the regular meats. Yep, we’ve got it all.
We’ve got chicken and turkey and, of course, duck and rabbit which are both
often eaten here. So we’re sure what we’re eating, there’s usually a little
picture of the animal somewhere on the label. Then we move on to pork, beef and
lamb (which is also a staple). So,
I’m moving down the meat case, checking it all out and I land on Cheval Haché.
Of course, that’s horsemeat and, yes, it’s eaten in France. Judging from the
selection, it’s not eaten all that much, but it’s there and I’ve seen it on
menus at a couple of restaurants. And a friend of mine told me it makes the very best tartare.
And finally, I arrive at the last meat case. Five shelves
high and stacked with all sorts of packages of meat bearing the picture of…a
dog! NO! No...no...NO!
Please say it isn’t
true. Not dog! This is terrible… more terrible than horse hamburger and pig
intestines.
On closer inspection, I realized this was meat FOR dogs, not
meat OF dogs. The French do love
their dogs after all, and I was able to let out the breath that I’d been
holding in horror.
I’m a reasonably adventurous soul but I’m not sure I’ll be
eating sheep kidneys anytime soon. I’ll leave that to
Chef Andrew Zimmer who, long ago, taught me to make a mean crème brulée and now makes a REALLY good living
traveling the world for The Travel Channel and eating all sorts of disgusting
things. Me, I think I’ll stick to writing. But I’d settle for making a REALLY
good living traveling the world
and writing about all the bizarre stuff that Andrew Zimmer is willing to
eat.
