Monday, October 10, 2011

Triple X

It’s Monday. Yes, it’s MONDAY. I don’t really mind Mondays. They’re days to begin anew…with new resolve….with a plan. And this is my Monday. All my visitors are finished for the season. All those dinners and lunches out, no gym, little writing, almost no reading…those days are finished and with a little weekend bridge in there for good measure, that brings me to MONDAY.

I’ve had all kinds of visitors this year. Great old friends, people I’ve never met until they were sleeping on my couch, friends of friends, people I haven’t seen in 15 years, and my business partner. But probably the most interesting was the visit of …ta…da…the first ex-wife of my only ex-expectorant. Yep, the ex of an ex in Aix!

Doesn’t that beat all?

It all started with a comment on one of my early blogs. She left her name and I responded by saying I knew someone in another life with that name. Was she, in fact, that person? Indeed she was…and this began a facebook friendship and many long nights of chatting and comparing notes, so to speak. Oh my, oh my! I shan’t go into all we’ve talked about (I’ll save that for a book) and all we’ve learned but let’s just say our mutual past has cemented our friendship. Who’d have ever thought?

During those chats she talked about how much she’d like to pack up her family (she has 2 young girls ages 12 and 13) and take off for a time to see the world. I, of course, being one who understands pipe dreams but also someone who believes they can become reality, encouraged her.

As it turns out, she didn’t need much encouragement. Within 6 months, she and her husband had made the decision to rent out their house for a year, take the girls out of school, and make their dream a reality. And they took off this summer for parts unknown. Now doesn’t that make her all the more interesting?

And so the entourage arrived chez moi last week. So far the girls have seen England, Germany, Spain, Holland and France. After Italy and a few other countries they will make their way to South American where they hope to stay for a length of time so as to soak up a bit of the culture and possibly the language. They will learn more in this year then they ever would in school.  And I got to be a little part of their journey. I’m honored and so happy to have met (or re-met) them all. And who'd have thought...I really like my ex's ex!

Back to my Monday. During the time of “all the visitors” I developed some sort of allergy to insects. What insect, I don’t know…a french one...but whatever it is, when I get stung my reaction is over the top. At first it was just large swelling and itchiness that lasted weeks. Then it became blisters (now if a giant yellow blister on your arm or you’re your forehead isn’t gross, I don’t know what is). Yesterday at the movies, I was bitten by something on my eyebrow. I could feel the swelling almost immediately. And today, my Grand Monday…the Monday to return to the gym and get some writing and reading done…this Monday I woke up to greet Quasimodo in the mirror. 

 Oh wait...that's not me...this is me.

But I'm sure you can see the resemblance. 

I have been taking all the medicine the pharmacy recommended and today when I returned there and removed my sunglasses, the pharmacist took in a breath and said, "Madame, we've given you all we have. You NEED to go to a doctor". Which I promptly did. I don't want to scare anyone on the street. 

I announced to the doctor that apparently, “ j’ai une allergie aux insects”.

He exclaimed, “Oh no, you’re not allergic to sex!”

But he said it with a twinkle in his eye, probably remembering my last visit, which involved a minor language problem. I told him, I don’t think so….unless it’s some sort of REALLY DELAYED reaction.

He loaded me up with pills and potions, from which I am reeling right now. (It’s probably this drug induced state that made me think it was okay to publish that photo of myself!)

Tomorrow is... Tuesday. Time to start fresh and new. Go to the gym...get some work done on my web site, go on a diet. And it's my Tuesday. I swear it will be. The pharmacist sold me heavy duty bug spray and told me to keep myself smothered in it. Well, actually she told me wear it like perfume..on my wrists and my ankles....all the time. Which will pretty much insure that I'm never going to have the chance to find out if I have an allergy to sex.

Have a great week!



  1. Delana

    There's a fair bit of competition this week (it's that time of the year, you know), but I think you might just squeeze the Quasimodo of the Week Award tomorrow morning?

    All the best


  2. One of those ACRONYMS for laughter that I refuse to use, PLUS applause, beginning with the first two paragraphs.

  3. Very funny!!! And yes, you are quite brave to post that photo!!!!

  4. You'll always look gorgeous to me, sunshine!

  5. Whoops! Sent that too soon. I meant to add: get better soon! And get BEDDED soon too!

  6. Keith, you know I'll do ANYTHING for an award. I consider it my excuse to wear my tiara! I just wish I'd done it on another week when the Quasimodo competition was so heavy!

    Holly, saw me today. I was brave to go out at all, I think!

    Lee, you didn't ...shhhh...LOL did you?

    Julie, I think it will be a cold day in hell! Or should I say a -30 degree day in Provence!

  7. Oh, Delana, I was complaining about my reaction to my new moisturizer where I looked Asian, but yes, you definitely win the prize. The doctor put me on prednisone and I've been overly energetic since then. I hope you have a similar reaction so you can get everything done while still on your meds.
    Great story about your ex's ex.

  8. Great picture Delana, and what an amazing story about your ex in Aix - quelle aventure! fantastic family!

  9. It's that CAT!! Now find it another home.
    Jeanmarie. xoxo

  10. Why not like your ex's generally go for the same types so you must have sunny, kind enthusiastic personalities in well as the ex...

  11. Delightful adventure with your guests. I'm so glad you decided to go to a doctor! Why do we wait so long to get help? I do the same thing in Puerto Rico.

    Thank you so much for reading a few pages from the memoir I'm writing about my mother. I was troubled about going public.

    I love my parents and am a very loyal person. (They have both passed on.) It's so difficult to tell the truth but it has helped me to figure out how I fit into this world.
    Thank you again.

  12. Oh my - I can sympathize. I once came home from the beach with a swollen forehead - I thought from a sunburn. I ended up on steroids and actually was so swollen through the bridge of the nose that I looked like a creature from a different species. I refused to allow anyone to photograph me, but now wish I had. Take care!

  13. I'm glad you had such fun this summer with all your visitors. It's nice to be alone again though and savour the peace!

    Poor you for your allergy, sounds like you're a beacon for all biting insects too. I'm not often bitten, and only by mozzies, unless I put my hand down on a wasp or something. Good luck with the treatment.

  14. I have to smile: I also get along super with the "ex" and I have developed an intense, dramatic allergy to, most especially, wasp stings. My 5 cents, based on personal experience: ask for a prescription for an epi-pen, and have it around you should you ever be stung in the neck (to prevent suffocating). If your doctor doesn't agree, at least have some sort of cortisone stuff at home so you can self treat when it does happen...People have been known to swallow live bugs swimming in their soda cans, however random that may seem, so a glance before you imbibe is probably worth the trouble.

  15. Well, I hope this doesn't print twice, as I am now having to rewrite this comment... I also get on so well with the "ex" and have a dreadful allergy to bug bites, most especially wasp stings. My 5 cents: get a prescription for an epipen, or at least some strong course of antiinflammatories and/or antihistamines so that you can self treat if it should happen again. The concern is if you should get in the neck, as the swelling can cause you to suffocate without timely intervention. Also, develop a habit of glancing in soda cans before girlfriend was stung in the throat that way, as bizarre as it sounds!

  16. Delana,
    First of all, poor you. How could that be? I hope your eau du insect works to deter any further attacks.
    Secondly, how amazing is that that you met this woman again...through your blog?!? This story and the following family gap year that she's currently on inspire me and make me think it's so totally cool that we have these blogs, that we connect to others through them, and that we've made so many great friends. There are so many reasons to be thankful for all that positive energy flowing around out there.
    I think you're the best!
    gros bisous,

  17. Like all of your blogs, you find the humor (and then dare to share) in the most mundane things - like bug bites.
    Your story about meeting & greeting the ex was wonderful. Ever true to Midwestern roots, you are now welcoming people to your adopted country.

  18. oH, Delana, I am sorry for your allergy, but this post is so funny, you had me almost in tears!
    I love that you became friends with your ex's ex, maybe it should do me some good to 'compare notes' with someone else who had my same experience, but they are so many that I do not know whom to pick...(mine are lovers, not wives).

  19. Oh! Your picture just cries, "Ouch!"


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